The Rich Redneck

THE RICH REDNECK

Hello everyone.
The rich redneck here.
I'm gonna share with you how I became a rich redneck, not to be confused with a rich jerk. The rich jerk just wants money, your money! The rich redneck is just happy to be able to pay the bills, upgrade a few things and buy beer.
I'm gonna tell you my story and show you what I've done with money and it won't cost you a penny because I'm not a rich jerk.

I became a rich redneck because of scrap. There's good money involved in scrap. You can find scrap just about anywhere. Mufflers that fall off cars at the side of the road. Country roads are the best, especially the ones that don't get a lot of traffic. This is where the rich jerks drop off there old washers and dryers, old tires and rims, anything they don't want. They're rich jerks but too cheap to pay to take it to the dump. I guess they don't realize there's money in scrap. As an added bonus you can usually find empty beer bottles at the side of country roads. This is how we get all our beer, with found empties. It's kinda like winning the lottery around here. We make it a family event and load up the kids and go look for scrap. We usually have a celebration after a successful outing. Here's a picture of the little woman at one of these celebrations.

One of the biggest things we did with our scrap money was upgraded the trailer. Here's a picture of what scrap money has built us.

We still need to add to it so each of the kids can have their own room. Our old digs are now the guest cabins for when the inlaws come to stay for a while.



Not wanting to stray too far from our redneck roots we've kept the outdoor facilities. We just moved them closer to the house. Here's a picture, don't mind Jed.

We still kept the old facilities out back. Here's what they look like.

When we have a family get together there's a lot of people, and I mean a lot of people! We had to build a porta potty so we don't over whelm the facilities. Especially with all the beer drinking that goes on at these. Here's our porta potty, the women in the family love the color!



It's always BBQ time around the trailer park. But a rich redneck won't go out and buy a BBQ. No, we prefer to build our own. Here's a picture of our BBQ.

Now grampa was getting on in years and was having difficulty walking. The roads in the trailer park aren't the greatest. They have a lot of really big potholes and a normal wheelchair just wouldn't cut it. Heck even those motorized ones won't make it down the road let alone to the outhouse and back. So we used our scrap money and built grampa a customized, motorized chair that will take him anywhere he wants to go. He's talking about climbing Mount Everst in it.
Here's a picture of it.


Scrap also got us our yacht complete with a big cooler for the beer! Judging by the looks we get from other boaters they must really be jealous. Here's our yacht.

We used one of the kids bedrooms to build it. You too can build one of your own. It's not to difficult. Just make it look like the picture. Now Bud always wanted to be a biker. We built him a custom chopper to fulfill his dream of being a biker. But we didn't want him to stray too far from his redneck trailer park roots so we incorporated a little piece of the trailer park into it for him. Sorry Janey we'll get you another bedroom soon.


We're so busy with goin and gettin scrap that we really don't have time to mow the lawn. So we came up with this ingenious idea. Take a look.

When the price of scrap goes up high enough nothing is safe around here. We had to modify the bumper on Ma's car because the bumper was worth $2.52. Here's how we did it.

It's no secret we use a lot of duct tape around here. Bur here's a new one that cousin Vinny's wife came up with.
I think every plumber should carry a roll with him.
Now with our new found riches from scrap we've had a lot of unsavory types comin round checkin things out. It's got so bad we had to form our own neighborhood watch committee. Since it's inception we don't get the curious comin round no more. Here's a picture of the guys.


That's my story about how I became a rich redneck and not a rich jerk. I'm not selling you anything. I just wanted to share my story with you. If I were a rich jerk I'd be trying to sell you some book right now. If you liked my story you can leave me a comment. If you have any suggestions for what else we could do to improve the trailer please leave suggestions in the comment box at the bottom.
Thanks
The Rich Redneck, not to be confused with the rich jerk - he's down the road a ways.