Redneck Pot Luck/BBQ

We just love havin pot lucks and BBQs and inviting all the neighbours over. But ya know how hard it is to hold yer beer in one hand and yer plate in the other and try to put food on the plate? Ya need three hands, but that's for the mad scientists to invent. So we came up with an idea all on our own. A plate with high sides on it so nothing slips off and a hole in the middle of it. Why a hole you ask? That's simple, ya slip the plate over your beer. Now you can hold your beer and food with one hand and pile the food on with the other hand. The dogs aren't too happy though, there's a lot less food hittin the ground for them to eat.

Redneck Wine Holder

It's finally ready! After gettin our fancy wine glasses we figured we better get somethin to hold the wine bottles in. We weren't too sure what until we saw Bubba passed out one day. We used him as our inspiration when we started making these. Looks just like him!! In fact, all the fame has gone to his head and this is how you'll usually find him.

Redneck Wine Glasses

Just wanted to share this find with y'all. These wine glasses are the cat's pajamas! Now we can be just like the upper-class snobs up on the hill. We can now drink our home made wine outta real wine glasses.

The Rich Rednecks' Earth Day Adventures

The Rich Redneck here. Just wanted to give everyone an update on how we spent Earth Day around here.
No holiday is complete around here without goin out scrapping. By that I mean goin out and getting scrap metal.We save the other kind of scrapping for latter on at the bar when we celebrate having a good day. I guess you could say we follow scrapping with scrapping.
We all got in our trucks early that day and headed for the local roadways. We wanted to get the good scrap before anyone else did. Our mission was to beatify the country side by ridding it of scrap metal and empty beer bottles.
Man does this country ever drink a lot of pop. We collected bags and bags of empty pop cans. Too bad we can't trade those in at the beer store!!
We got 4 or 5 mufflers out of the ditch. Bet there's a few people complaining about how noisy their neighbours car is.
Our best find was a matching washer and dryer we found on a dead end country road. You should see what we did with those. You see, we had a problem all winter with the snowplow knocking over the posts for our mailboxes. Well, just look at what we did, that's easier than me trying to explain it.

I don't think the flying snow will be knocking these down this winter!! As an added bonus anything , like a case of beer, that's too big to fit in the mailbox is just put into the dryer. Safe from the weather and no trip to the post office to pick it up. Anybody who wants to can now mail me a case of beer!
We got enough empties to get us a few cases of beer. This made the boys real happy. Now it was off to the scrap yard to trade our scrap for cash. But when we got to the junk yard they had this sign posted out front,

Wouldn't want to be marrying into that family. With the rest of the afternoon free the boys decided to do a little 4 wheelin and dirt bikin. The only problem was the trucks were full of scrap and we couldn't go to the junk yard today because they were closed for a wedding. So the boys had to do a little improvising. And improvise they did.
Ronny just put his dirt bike in the trunk of his car.

Jason just drove his 4 wheeler on to the roof of his car. Notice how the bumpers look a little like they're gonna fall off? To bad they're plastic.

Jimmy said he was just going to ride his cow over.

Jeb must have over heard how Jimmy was getting there because he showed up with a cow in the trunk of his car!! He's not the sharpest tool in the shed. The really scary thing is it looks like he's dome this before.

Lou couldn't quite get his 4-wheeler onto the roof of his car. Said something about not wanting to dent the roof.

Then there's Bubba. Always the show-off. He brought his 4-wheeler on steroids. That boy will put tractor tires on anything!!


You're probably wondering about our latest upgrade at the family compound is. Well the little woman has been wanting on of those high-rise condominiums for a while now. So we decided to build her one. Take a look.

Isn't it a beaut?! Sorry Justin we'll get you a new bedroom real soon!
Well that's about it for our Earth Day adventures.

Your Very Own Get-Rich-Quick Page!

The pitch page. I've looked at a lot of them. They're all pretty much the same. The first thing you need is a product to hype. Look through all the free crap you've gotten from other pitch pages. If it says you can resell it or give it away you have your product to hype! Having all that crap in your inbox that you signed up for is finally going to start making you money.
If Michelle Andrews' Instant Money Vault can do it to Mark Warrens' Ultimate Wealth Package why can't you? In fact, Instant Money Vault was basically the same as Ultimate Wealth Package. I have both. In fact, if you go to Instant Money Vault.
you can get everything you need for free. Scroll down to almost the bottom of the page where you'll see this message:
So far "Today Only" has lasted about 6 months. Instant Money Vault recycled Ultimate Wealth Package. Now you get to recycle Instant Money Vault, very fitting since tomorrow is actually Earth Day!!
Now you need to create some hype for your hot product.
Have you ever noticed how these pages are really long? And they usually give you something for free near the top of them? Here you go;
FREE BONUS #1. Enlarge the font.
FREE BONUS #2. Narrow the margins.
FREE BONUS #3. Secret
FREE BONUS #4. Secret
FREE BONUS #5. Secret

To receive your free bonuses #3,4,&5 please sign up for my news letter and they will be personally emailed to you immediately!!
Everybody loves free stuff and it's nor like you're paying for it. Plus you get their email addresses so you can sell them more stuff later on! People really like secret stuff too.
Next you have to sell them the dream. The dream is they'll never have to work at a real job again if they buy your awesome program. Give them your rags to riches story about how only 6 months ago you were scrubbing toilets and couldn't pay the bills and your car was held together with duct tape. Make sure to include pictures of the worst apartment and car you can find! Tell them how the idea suddenly came to you how to make lots of money. Tell them that 6 months later this is where you live. Show them pictures of a huge mansion. Show them pictures of your Ferrari, the Lamborghini, the BMW, etc. Next show them your beach house on the French Riviera. Include pictures of the beach with bikini clad women. Hey, sex still sells.
Tell them you'll show them step by step how to have the same thing. Tell them they'll only have to work 4 or 5 hours a week.
Put in lots of testimonials from people saying how great and easy the program is. Check out the Rich Jerk Take Off for some ideas.
After brainwashing them with testimonials and pictures ( now you know why the pages are so long) tell them again how easy it is and that you only work when you feel like it. Which isn't very often. Through in a few more testimonials.
Now tell them about all the free bonuses they're going to get if they order today. The supplies are limited so they better hurry to guarantee they get theirs. Now list a bunch of recycled Instant Money Vault stuff with inflated prices to jack up the value of the free stuff.
Next is the price drop. You know the routine, not $997.95, not $597.97 not even 99.99 for all this incredible stuff. You can have it all for just $49.99. But only if you order right now. The price is going up at midnight and the free bonus will be all gone before then. I really want you to have it all so click on the payment page right now to guarantee you get your.
Get Rich Quick Check List
1. Find a product to sell
2. Enlarge the font
3. Narrow the margins
4.Offer something for free
5. Get their email address
6. Tell your rags to riches story;
a)crappy old stuff
b) awesome new stuff
c) hot chicks in bikinis
7. Hype how easy it is
8. add testimonials (lots)
9. List expensive freebies.
10) limited number of freebies available.
11. low introductory offer
12) Price triples at midnight
13) Let them know how much you want them to have it all

Just follow the directions here and you could be the next Internet guru. And you can do it all for free if you use a free website service. Just don't use the one Michelle Andrews is offering. It will cost a fortune to make it work right.

The Rich Redneck

THE RICH REDNECK

Hello everyone.
The rich redneck here.
I'm gonna share with you how I became a rich redneck, not to be confused with a rich jerk. The rich jerk just wants money, your money! The rich redneck is just happy to be able to pay the bills, upgrade a few things and buy beer.
I'm gonna tell you my story and show you what I've done with money and it won't cost you a penny because I'm not a rich jerk.

I became a rich redneck because of scrap. There's good money involved in scrap. You can find scrap just about anywhere. Mufflers that fall off cars at the side of the road. Country roads are the best, especially the ones that don't get a lot of traffic. This is where the rich jerks drop off there old washers and dryers, old tires and rims, anything they don't want. They're rich jerks but too cheap to pay to take it to the dump. I guess they don't realize there's money in scrap. As an added bonus you can usually find empty beer bottles at the side of country roads. This is how we get all our beer, with found empties. It's kinda like winning the lottery around here. We make it a family event and load up the kids and go look for scrap. We usually have a celebration after a successful outing. Here's a picture of the little woman at one of these celebrations.

One of the biggest things we did with our scrap money was upgraded the trailer. Here's a picture of what scrap money has built us.

We still need to add to it so each of the kids can have their own room. Our old digs are now the guest cabins for when the inlaws come to stay for a while.



Not wanting to stray too far from our redneck roots we've kept the outdoor facilities. We just moved them closer to the house. Here's a picture, don't mind Jed.

We still kept the old facilities out back. Here's what they look like.

When we have a family get together there's a lot of people, and I mean a lot of people! We had to build a porta potty so we don't over whelm the facilities. Especially with all the beer drinking that goes on at these. Here's our porta potty, the women in the family love the color!



It's always BBQ time around the trailer park. But a rich redneck won't go out and buy a BBQ. No, we prefer to build our own. Here's a picture of our BBQ.

Now grampa was getting on in years and was having difficulty walking. The roads in the trailer park aren't the greatest. They have a lot of really big potholes and a normal wheelchair just wouldn't cut it. Heck even those motorized ones won't make it down the road let alone to the outhouse and back. So we used our scrap money and built grampa a customized, motorized chair that will take him anywhere he wants to go. He's talking about climbing Mount Everst in it.
Here's a picture of it.


Scrap also got us our yacht complete with a big cooler for the beer! Judging by the looks we get from other boaters they must really be jealous. Here's our yacht.

We used one of the kids bedrooms to build it. You too can build one of your own. It's not to difficult. Just make it look like the picture. Now Bud always wanted to be a biker. We built him a custom chopper to fulfill his dream of being a biker. But we didn't want him to stray too far from his redneck trailer park roots so we incorporated a little piece of the trailer park into it for him. Sorry Janey we'll get you another bedroom soon.


We're so busy with goin and gettin scrap that we really don't have time to mow the lawn. So we came up with this ingenious idea. Take a look.

When the price of scrap goes up high enough nothing is safe around here. We had to modify the bumper on Ma's car because the bumper was worth $2.52. Here's how we did it.

It's no secret we use a lot of duct tape around here. Bur here's a new one that cousin Vinny's wife came up with.
I think every plumber should carry a roll with him.
Now with our new found riches from scrap we've had a lot of unsavory types comin round checkin things out. It's got so bad we had to form our own neighborhood watch committee. Since it's inception we don't get the curious comin round no more. Here's a picture of the guys.


That's my story about how I became a rich redneck and not a rich jerk. I'm not selling you anything. I just wanted to share my story with you. If I were a rich jerk I'd be trying to sell you some book right now. If you liked my story you can leave me a comment. If you have any suggestions for what else we could do to improve the trailer please leave suggestions in the comment box at the bottom.
Thanks
The Rich Redneck, not to be confused with the rich jerk - he's down the road a ways.

The Rich Jerk Take Off

Today's Date
Somewhere in the world

I'm a rich jerk and I'm going to do nothing but insult you while you're at MY webpage. I do this because I can, and I'm filthy rich so who are you to stop me?? In fact, by the time you read this page you will buy my ebook because you'll want to be just like me - A JERK!! But a filthy rich jerk all the same.

I'm lazy and I don't like to work. Whoever said you have to work hard to get what you want out of life doesn't have a damn clue what they are talking about. They're just too stupid to take the easy way out.

If you buy my book I'll show you that even a loser like you can be a rich jerk too. You can read can't you?? I hope so. I also hope you can follow directions, because if you can't you'll still be a poor loser. If you don't follow the directions exactly you won't be entitled to a refund.

All you need is my book. You don't need some program by some guru who just wants to be famous. I'm not going to tell you my name because I don't crave attention. I also don't want the bully's who used to be me up in high school to know I've got money. I don't want them to come and mug me. I'm afraid of them.

Here's what some idiot's have to say about my book. In case you're lamer than I thought these are called testimonials loser.


This is totally awesome. We never thought this was possible. It was soooo easy!! Now all we do is hang out at the local ATM and collect our cash. Between the three of us we're raking in over $73,647,874.00 every day. Thanks namesless Rich Jerk, we couldn't have done it without you're awesome book.

Now I'm the coolest cat on the block! Like my new shades. Thanks to the Rich Jerk I don't mind paying $50,000.00 for these dollar store shades. When you're pulling in over 2 million a year who cares about money!!

Thanks to the Rich Jerk I could afford to get the nose job I've always wanted, along with the rest of the plastic surgery it took to be this beautiful. Don't you think I look hot?? I owe it all to the Rich Jerk.

Thanks Rich Jerk. Now I can buy all the cool threads I want. Like the cool housecoat I'm wearing in this picture. This is my latest business suit. I only work, if you can call it that, about an hour a day. On a slow day I make $73,756.00. Not bad for a little guy.

Do you like my pretty red bow? I only smoke the finest, most expensive Cuban cigars now that I can afford them. Do you like my gun? I got it because the bullies who beat me up in high school are finally gonna get what's coming to them!! Thanks Rich Jerk. None of this would have been possible without you.


Since I found the Rich Jerk I'm making so much money all I do is lie around in my favorite custom built chair and count my money. When I'm not sleeping of course.

I made $6,687.38 in just my first 2 hours following the Rich Jerks book. Not bad for a dumb rock eh? Thanks Rich Jerk who ever you are.

I now have more money than I know what to do with. Who says you can't enjoy life as a vegetable? Thanks Rich Jerk.

Hey you, ya, you. The secrets out. Buy the Rich Jerk's book and you too can be an obnoxious Rich Jerk too. Don't tell anybody you heard it from me or else! I'll send the puppy with the gun after you. I used to be a bully in high school. Maybe I used to beat up the Rich Jerk.

I'm just so happy. Now I'm swimming with an upper crust school. Thanks Rich Jerk.

Earnings Disclaimer:
All earnings are accurate to the best of our knowledge. If the above testimonials contain any lies we have no knowledge of it. What they say sounded good to us so we printed it. Whether or not you actually earn any money is totally dependent upon you, your intelligence, your education, your maturity, your I.Q., your devotion, your dedication and the kitchen sink. That about covers it so we won't have to refund any money if you are lacking in any of the above.

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